Wednesday October 6, 2010

Speaker: Ben Sigman

Theme: What Has Got To Happen for a Great Marriage to Work

Weekend Music links on iTunes: Salvation is Here - Hillsong, All to You - Lincoln Brewster, Happy Day - Tim Hughes, You'll Come - Hillsong

Read: 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; 1 Peter 3:7

Think: Pastor Ben talked about a “man’s need for sexual fulfillment” in a marriage relationship this past Sunday. As a man, I could really relate to this portion of his teaching. Studies have shown that men often place a high value and sense of fulfillment in the health of the sexual relationship with their spouse. The conflict comes in trying to define what a healthy marriage relationship looks like when it comes to sex. Men and women are wired dramatically different and rarely agree on the timing and frequency when it comes to sexual fulfillment. Not only that but there are also many external factors and seasons in a relationship that can dramatically affect desire and availability.

After being met with the “not tonight honey”, I typically recite the 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 verse Pastor Ben talked about, HA! No I don’t actually do that, but that perceived rejection can sometimes affect my self esteem because I value what my wife thinks of me. I start to question my wife’s desire for me and my mind wanders to “Does she love me?” “Am I still attractive?” “Am I a good provider?”  The devil plants all sorts of wacky thoughts and doubts in my head. When I step back and get perspective or talk to my wife, I realize that when she says “not tonight” all she really means is, “not tonight”. Like 1 Peter 3:7 says, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect…” Part of my responsibility is to also consider and respect her needs.

Do: Stay connected with your wife, realize that she may not say “yes” every night and when she does have one of those “not tonight honey” nights, don’t let the Devil try to make you believe that you are unworthy and bring doubt into your relationship.

Pray:  Dear Heavenly Father, help us to be open and transparent in our marriage. May we always seek to grow closer and continue to improve our connectedness. I love my wife/husband and I offer up our relationship to you. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

The eDevotional is written each week by a team of volunteers from Timberlake Church.

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