Speaker: Ben Sigman

Theme: Better Sex

Weekend Music links on iTunes: All to You - Lincoln Brewster, Your Grace Is Enough - Christ Tomlin, Holding Nothing Back - Tim Hughes, 'Til I See You - Hillsong

Read: I Cor. 7:5; Prov. 17:22; 

Think: Promos for yesterday’s Oprah show caught my attention and so I tuned in. The subject was “Am I Normal?” Amongst many other subjects, people wanted know if they were “normal” in the area of sexual frequency. In a poll of Oprah’s audience, the results were:

2% every single day

37% at least once a week

19% once a month

42% it’s been awhile

Whether Oprah’s audience is “normal” or not, I’m not sure, but then Dr. Phil weighed in saying that having sex with your partner is that one thing that you reserve just for one another, it makes your relationship special and it should occur frequently enough to keep you both satisfied. If that is not happening, he suggests negotiating for what you need.

...Reliable communication permits progress.  Proverbs 13:17 (LB)

Being transparent with your spouse about your needs is crucial to a good marriage relationship, but it requires being honest with yourself, first, and then trusting your mate to listen and respond.

At a recent Women’s Retreat at Warm Beach Camp, I attended a seminar by a well-known marriage and family therapist. One of the subjects he spoke on was the frequency that couples have sex.  He warned us about not depriving one another, as I Corinthians 7:7 also advises and he talked about men’s and women’s typical sex drives. Since he travels a lot for speaking engagements, he said he had come to realize his personal limit for going without relations with his wife. He was honest, and told us that the longest he could realistically go was 10 minutes! Over the immediate eruption of laughter, he tried to explain what we had already guessed- he meant to say 10 days! It just struck us women so funny, we couldn’t stop laughing until we realized another 10 minutes had nearly gone by and we’d better let the poor man speak!

Do: Keep your sense of humor. Proverbs 17:22 says a cheerful heart is good medicine. Your “normal” may be quite different than your mate’s. Agree together on what works for you. Remember that sex is more than the physical act. It’s that special bond between the two of you that no one else shares and it promotes feelings of comfort, love and well-being.

Pray: Dear God, thank you for the gift of sex that is special to the marriage relationship. We know it is good to enjoy that gift frequently. Help us to let go of the concept of what is normal and to come to an understanding of what’s right for us as a couple. Amen

The eDevotional is written each week by a team of volunteers from Timberlake Church.

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