Theme:   Love Sex and Marriage - How to Keep Your Marriage Growing

This eDevotional was written by a volunteer from Timberlake Church.

READ:  Proverbs 15:22; Daniel 9:4;  Ephesians 5:21

THINK:  In the continuing series on Love, Sex and Marriage we learned on Sunday the many expressions that can define love.   Pastor Ben implored us (high pitched voice and all) to take it up a notch in our marriages. 

So many things have resonated with me over the past several weeks for this series I feel like I could write a short novel.  Love is a choice based upon the covenant we entered into when we said “I do”.  That covenant has been tested on many occasions over the years, but I can provide a firsthand testimony about God’s faithfulness when we obey His guidance and wisdom. 

If I have learned anything in my marriage it is this:  my pride is the greatest stumbling block to advancing my marriage from good to great.  I have a fresh example I would like to share.  Several months ago I received my half yearly performance review at work.  It was a short review and included a nice bonus to boot.  All sounds good right?  Ah but if you could have seen my reaction that I carefully kept inside me when my boss provided some constructive feedback.  I was defiant and upset that she didn’t see my value.  I could only focus on the less positive aspects of the review. I came home that evening and told my wife that my boss really doesn’t understand me or appreciate me.  Now here is where it gets really, really interesting.  For many years my wife has told me that I don’t hear the positive things that she and others have to say about me.  I am constantly telling her that my love language (See “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman) is words of affirmation.  I tell my wife that my well is dry and I need these words to quench my thirst, and just recently she told me that she is not sure she can ever quench my thirst in this area.  Ouch!!  Then… the miracle occurred. 

Through the help of a Christian counselor (I highly encourage this by the way) I was asked to provide my performance review to my wife for her to read.   Then one night as I lay on the couch, she asked me if she could read the review to me aloud.  Slowly she read each and every sentence.  Her eyes even appeared to well up at times as she read the praises from my boss. You see her tears were about my deafness.  I painfully listened to each and every word, and finally had to acknowledge that the affirmations are all there, but it is I who chooses not to hear them.    That night has been transformational in our marriage and in my life. 

For years I was sure, absolutely sure that my love language was just not spoken to me.  I had to put my pride aside to acknowledge that the language has been spoken, and spoken often by my wife, but I wasn’t listening to it.  

I am thankful that we had a counselor to guide us, a wife who loves me and is committed to our covenant, and a God who loves me unconditionally. 

DO:  Where are you struggling right now?  What areas of your relationship with your spouse are you letting your pride get in the way of a breakthrough?  Is there an area where you need to put aside for a moment your beliefs about yourself, about your spouse, and look through a different lens?  Think about seeking outside counsel and help to take your marriage up a notch.

PRAY:  Heavenly Father I am thankful that you are faithful and just.  You are a wise counselor whose word is true.  Help me to see myself as you do.  Help me to put away my pride and submit myself to your perfect will.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.