READ: James 5:16; Philippians 4:6-7; Ephesians 2:8-10

THINK: There are a lot of different methods of bringing up children. When I was a young mom, I think I read about them all. I had the dream of being the perfect mother, able to raise the perfect children. I was on a quest to find the right methods and formulas and programs, to produce the right-behaving kids. One by one, the methods let me down. When one didn’t work, I tried another. Then, I learned that the common denominator to my failed attempts was me, and not the method. My expectations for myself and for me kids were so high, that I never could reach the bar. This left me feeling stressed out and disconnected from God and my kids. I wasn’t enjoying them and my role as a mother like I wanted to. In the search for perfection, I was missing out on all the fun.

The pain of this cycle forced me to let go of the unrealistic expectations I had. I started accepting reality, instead of chasing the ideal. Here’s what accepting reality meant for me:

Forgiving Myself: when I made parenting mistakes, I refused to beat myself up over them. Instead, I forgave myself as quickly as I could muster. If I had a hard time forgiving myself, then I called a friend and told her about it. James 5:16 says, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Good friends always know how to help you let go, pray, and heal.

Aiming for Progress not Perfection: If my aim was being the perfect mom, raising the perfect kids, then I wouldn’t see how much progress we were really making. Being thankful for the growth that’s happening keeps me mindful of the “real” instead of the “ideal”. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not worry about anything, but pray and ask God for everything you need, always giving thanks. And God’s peace, which is so great we cannot understand it, will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Grace as a Way of Life: Grace is unmerited favor, which means that we just get God’s favor as a gift and not based on our good behavior. Grace is designed to draw us closer to Him. When we fully embrace God’s grace, then we are able to give it to ourselves at the points when we deserve it least. Out of the abundance of God’s grace in our lives, we can give it to our kids. It’s a pretty sweet deal. Ephesians 2:8-10 says, “…You have been saved by grace through believing. You did not save yourselves; it was a gift from God.  It was not the result of your own efforts, so you cannot brag about it. God has made us what we are. In Christ Jesus, God made us to do good works, which God planned in advance for us to live our lives doing.” Grace makes us grow into Christ- likeness, not human effort.

Years later, I still am not a perfect parent. But I am a favored parent- favored by the Perfect Parent, God, who accepts me just as I am, but refuses to leave me that way. And my kids get to benefit from all the investment that God puts into me. Like I said, it’s a pretty sweet deal.

DO: Ask God one thing that you need to receive grace and forgiveness for. If necessary, ask for and offer forgiveness with your kids too.

PRAY: Heavenly Father, thank you for the opportunity to grow as a parent, and to be a part of my children’s growth process too. Teach me to parent my kids the way you parent me. Help me to get to know your character better, so I can pass it on. Help me to practice receiving your favor, and to extend that to my children as well.